An Indian Without Reservation

Everyone I tell so - accepts me as Indian
But nobody wants me to be one.
Everyone really rejects me as Indian
The minute I try to be one.


Keep my hair short, dress just like them
Is all I've done throughout life.
The whites all want me to be just like them,
But they forget - this is my life.

Everyone knows that I'm Indian,
But this really seems to upset them
Forgive and forget that I'm Indian
Is the only way that I can live with them.

But I can't, can't you see, for I am what I am,
And what I am, dammit is Indian!
Though I was raised white American,
I've always been, and will always be...Indian.

They adopted me out just so they could change
My original certificate of birth
But try as they might, they can't rearrange
My Heritage, established at birth.

In this country I can be what I want
As long as what I want isn't Indian,
This is something I cannot flaunt
Still to some, "The only good one's a dead one."

Everyone knows that I am Indian,
And this really seems to upset them
Forgive and forget that I am Indian
Is the only way they'll let me live with them.

But I can't, can't you see, for I am what I am,
And what I am, dammit is Indian.
Though I was raised white American,
I've always been, and will always be...Indian

I can be Indian behind closed doors
And can be one amongst my kind
But if I try it amongst whites outdoors,
I'm told I'm not the right kind.

The American society existing today
Can't have me there to remind them
Of atrocities performed in such a way
They would rather just shove behind them.

Yet everyone knows that I am Indian,
And this really seems to upset them
Forgive and forget that I'm Indian?
If I can't be one, I won't live with them.

For I can't, can't you see? For I am what I am,
And what I am, dammit, is Indian.
Though I was raised white American,
I've always been, and will always be...Indian.

I know what I am but by law can't prove it
They claim my record can't be opened now -
That's because at adoption they sealed it
I'm supposed to accept being white now

Some of My People won't accept what I am
Because I'm not from the reservation
But accept that I am because what I am
Is an Indian without reservation!

And everyone knows that I'm Indian,
I don't care that this really upsets them
To forgive and forget that I'm Indian?
I'd much rather live without them.

For I can't, can't you see, for I am what I am,
And what I am, bless it, is Indian.
Though raised by the white American,
I've always been, and will always be:...Indian.

-- Unknown

This poem for me addresses something that Karen has brought up a couple times with her own personal experiences this idea that culture and identity is a part of us almost like DNA that we are connected to the generations before us it's kind of this unconscious knowing--even though in the poem the author was raised in a white American community he knows who he is and he doesn't have to grow up on the rez or with his birth parents or community to be considered a "real" Indian. I think this poem deals with identity because so much about identity can be proving to other people what your identity is when in fact only thing that really matters is knowing your own identity and this author definitely does. There is no doubt who he is and he won't let anyone stop him from expressing his own identity he would rather just live with out them. I think this poem also can be connected to this idea of having to prove Indian identity. I know this topic has been addressed a couple of times in the blog whether it's through blood quantum or cultural knowledge or where you grew up or how you look etc. etc. Or also not fitting into the stereotypical ideas of what it meas to be Indian. I think this poem enforces this idea that no matter what anyone else thinks or wants me to be this is who I am and I'm not willing to change that and you can't. Like he says "I am what I am..."
Brianna Howze